:: *All* this* world* is* mad* ::

:: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 ::

I havn't blogged in forever....
I read the coolest poem today. This is taken from the book The dark hills divide by Patrick Carman.
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant,
Though all of them were blind,
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! But the Elephant
Is very like a wall!”

The Second , feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho! What have we here?”
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ‘tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the anima,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” said he “the Elephant
Is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain.” Said he;
“Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree.”

The Fifth who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “Even the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” said he “the Elephant
Is very like a rope!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right
And all were in the wrong.
We chuckle at this amusing poem but is this not a mirror of us? Isn't this how we are as christians? We all have an idea...of what God's like and what he is....because each of us seeks God and dives into the scriptures but sometimes we think our way of perciving God is the one and only way to look at God, the one and only way that God can possibly be. 1 corinthians 1:20-25 says:
20Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.
James 1:5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
one more...Ephesians 4:29 says-Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
wow..that's a mouth full....so in answer to our observations of God...let us seek God, uplift each other....and watch out..'cause when you seek God..He's gonna' show Himself to you and you won't be able to hide from the incredibility of who He is.
Here's to praying you seek Jesus this week and that He teaches you something awesomely new about Himself. He died for you....go live for Him.
:: A beautiful existence 4:51 PM [+] ::
...

I'm writing here. Must mean I'm thinking. You're right. I am. I'm thinking about you, whoever you are. Wondering how you're doing. Wondering your name, your face, your state of well- being. Do I know you? Do you live next door? Have I taken the time to reach out to you? Do you know Jesus? THAT is the important question. Actually the only one that matters really. Do I spend any time thinking about somebody, anybody else?
I guess you could say I'm evaluating. Asking myself who are you? What are you doing here? What will you leave behind? The answers? Question #1 : I'm a daughter of the most high King of Kings. Jesus himself. Question #2:Somedays nothing that has anything to do with glorifying God wich is why I'm put here. Question #3: The answer to the previous 2 questions will answer this one.

And those are the thoughts of my head.
:: A beautiful existence 10:39 PM [+] ::
...

Hey,
I know I shouldn't be up. I know I should be in bed because I have to get up really early in the morning. Why am I still up? Because I WANT to be up. This is a small small example of what my life has been like lately. I know exactly what I SHOULD be doing but instead I do what I want. Lately I've found myself running to bondage from freedom, from gifts to struggling to make ends meet, from peace to calamity. Why am I doing this? It's called I decided I wanted to do what I wanted to do not what God wants me to do. If I'd only stop to think about it I'd have concluded that it was rediculous for me to be living how I was living....running against the tide. Isn't it so much easier to give in to the wonderful power of the strong current of God? To give in to the peace he freely offers instead of running to find bondage for all the things he frees me from? Why do I still beat my head against this wall. Why do I chose to falter and to fall?
God help me. I need you.
:: A beautiful existence 10:07 PM [+] ::
...

Well I thought it's about time I post again. I guess I've just not felt like it for a really long time.
What's new?
God is still faithful....been teaching me a lot lately. I need patience, peace, perfection......God please.
I ask you all to keep me in prayer this summer especially. Most of you know I'm gearing up to do music ministry of some sort in my future. I'm sure to many of you this is not a secret but to some it is....I write music and I've been doing so for about 7 years now. I've pretty much kept it in the closet. I don't know what will happen but I'm praying and sensing a lot of leading lately. Oh and for those of you who've requested over and over that I do so, I'll be posting the link to my ministry blog so you can get the stats on my ministry and browse my lyrics and stuff. My request is that you'll pray for me to have wisdom and follow God's leading without holding back and without shame and that when God does call me to share my music and testimony that I'll proclaim it truthfully and unashamedly before whoever God puts in front of me. I've prayed for some spicific things in the past and a few of them are comming to pass. Please just keep this in your prayers.
Wow have I been busy or what? I've started two buisnesses and life's just gotten crazy. I now have a home based buisness and a web based buisness. They keep me on my toes.
God's teaching me the same things as always.....faith, hope, wisdom and how to love people unconditionally. Can't say I've learned yet but then again who has?
I'm learning a lot about people about ministry and about the huge impact one's way of thinking can have on the way they make choices and live their lives out.
Anyway, I hope to be posting on here more often but who knows. Those of you who know me well...if you have questions ask away I'd be happy to talk about my crazy life right now.
P.S. to anybody who wants to talk or whatever I love to listen it's like one of my favorite things to do besides play my guitar or listen to music.
Ok I'm gone!
Love you guys!
P.S. Gena we need to get together seriously.....those guitars won't play themselves!
Tia we need to hang too.....got so much to talk about and hear about I'm sure!
:: A beautiful existence 5:27 PM [+] ::
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Hey I want to testify today that God is faithful and oh my am I ever greatful!
It blows me away that no matter what I'm going through....no matter how I fee, fall apart, fail and fumble, God still remains the same unchanging & unconditional sovriegn God He's always been. When I sin it shakes me I'm like "what am I doing?" and I freak out saying "God what am I going to do now? I've really screwed things up this time." And God doesn't say "oh my, yes you have I didn't notice." He's like "yup". And I say "What am I going to do?" and He says "What ARE you going to do?"( Like....you have a decision here) And I'm surprised that He doesn't freak out for some reason.
But no, he remains calm and says "I offered to help you, my offer still remains the same." And I'm awestruck by that. What an awesome God I have. I can't say that my life is hunky dory. Who's life is hunky-dory? People who are already in heaven?
Because Jesus PROMISED us hardships and struggles and pain as the price we'll pay for following him on this earth. Those who take a serious stand for the Lord will face serious opposition.
But though we face trials and pain....God also comforts us.
I like how the apostle Paul talked about suffering in 2nd Corinthians 1:1-7


Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of
God, and Timothy our brother,
To the church of God in Corinth, together with
all his holy people throughout Achaia:
2Grace and peace to you from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Praise to the God of All Comfort
3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the
God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our
troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from
God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings
of Christ, so also our comfort abounds
through Christ. 6If we are distressed, it is for your
comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is
for your comfort, which produces in you patient
endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And
our hope for you is firm, because we know that
just as you share in our sufferings, so also you
share in our comfort.

I like verses 3-4 the best:


3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the
God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our
troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble
with the comfort we ourselves receive from
God.

God wastes nothing. You may be going through what you're going through to be able to identify with someone. You may not even know you're helping them. You may say something someday that gives someone hope that they're not alone. Be vounerable and honest. It's worth it.
God wastes nothing. You are not struggling without reason. You are not alone. I'm here and I love to listen so if anybody needs a talk I'm here.....

God is faithful, he loves you unconditionally, he has a purpose for your pain, and God wastes nothing.
Don't forget this.
:: A beautiful existence 6:47 PM [+] ::
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Have you ever felt alone like you know people are there and God's there but there's still alone but not an alone for a romantic sort of someone but yet for a someone who's not there?
Do you ever wish that you could phisicly feel God hold you?
If so, you know how I feel. Sometimes it's hard to know what to feel. Feelings are so annoying. Sometimes I wish I didnt' have any and sometimes I'm glad I have some.
I guess right now I just want to be. I don't know who I am or where I'm going or why I'm going or anything. I'm so frustrated and confused.
Prayer is appreciated and essential.
My prayers go out to you too, whoever you are.


:: A beautiful existence 2:41 PM [+] ::
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I just want to breathe.......but it hurts.

:: A beautiful existence 11:23 PM [+] ::
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